Disclosure: Although this blog post is sponsored by Love Yourself Store, all opinions come from the bottom of my blogging heart. Si lees español puedes leer esta entrada aquí. ❤
When I was a little girl, the greater part of my Sundays were spent in a laundromat. It was my weekly torture session. Not only because of the fact that I wouldn’t be buying anything from the vending machines, despite having a pocket full of quarters, nor because of the heat radiating from the dryers, not even because I knew I’d be wasting a minimum of three hours of my life that I’d never get back. In reality, I think what bothered me the most was what the entire scene represented. It was emblematic of being an immigrant in the United States, being weird, being different. I was so afraid a classmate might see me through the windows and recognize me. I don’t even know why identifying myself generated such fear, but at that young age, I didn’t think it was possible to ever love my Hispanic heritage. At that time, the only thing I wanted was the unattainable… more than citizenship, I wanted acceptance.
What is the first mistake you ever made?
For this blog post I tried to think of the earliest memory I have of making a mistake. It was nearly impossible and not because I never made mistakes. Being the runt of my siblings made me not only the most annoying of the three, but also the most likely to piss my brother off. Still, today I couldn’t remember the bloopers of my childhood, those mistakes were just too minimal to register. Don’t you just wish you could go back in time to when the biggest mistake you ever made was recording over your sister’s favorite 90s mix-tape?
We all have one thing about ourselves that we fixate on. The one thing that, like a blemish on our soul, makes us feel incapable, unworthy, and ashamed. When you’re in complete silence, alone with your thoughts, what does your mind say to you? Does it accuse you of not being beautiful, successful, or intelligent enough?
The heat index hits a record high for the third consecutive day, the humidity brings out the natural in your hair, and you are convinced you’ve never felt this in love before in your life. It’s officially spring in Miami and I know exactly what you need- to spring clean your life.
Growing up my sister and I shared a massive closet. When we felt our stress levels at record highs, usually around this time of year, we would take every item out of the closet and make piles that covered every inch of space of our bedroom floor. We would sift through and determine what to donate, keep, and trash. Meanwhile, we would talk and work out the feelings we’d been hoarding in our hearts and minds as well. Three hours later, we’d end up with a clean closet, a clean mind, and resolved to achieve most anything.
So, today, I invite you to be my sister; let’s sift through our feelings and organize our lives together:
I get the call and immediately know the direction my day is headed. The call explaining that I have been designated the point of contact on a family member’s dossier because he has been summoned to court and has yet to appear. Immediately, I am taken back to the days I wore sparkly dresses in which I could twirl and patent leather shoes that were scuffed and too tight. I am taken back to the times we all fit around a dinner table in a house that couldn’t fit our dreams. The days my mother could throw a handful of flour and some water in a bowl but could never make the formula pliable; it was either too thick or too thin but it would never hold.