I have always considered myself to be a romantic. An overly idealistic romantic with expectations that would rival any love story à la Nicholas Sparks. Adele’s When We Were Young comes on the radio while I am driving and it’s as if the world stops. I am immediately transported into a dream world full of meet cutes and tragic love affairs.
In spite of my overly romanticized views of love, I have always felt that falling in love is a continuous action. One that should continue to happen in small ways every single day. See, grand gestures will conquer the heart, but smaller gestures are the ones that nurture the love. So, for a change, I will challenge you to think of ways you can show love every single day. For a little assistance, I have compiled a list of some ways I love to feel loved every day:
- Be the first “good morning” and the “last goodnight”. The world around us is designed to be so distracting that we often find ourselves too busy and too tired to even try to communicate. You would be surprised, however, at how powerfully simple conversation can feed love.
- Be supportive. One of the things that makes us first fall in love is the admiration we feel for the ambitions of our partner. Sometimes these are foreign to us like the way they can break into song and dance in the middle of the day in the middle of the living room. Other times, these can be scarier life altering career changing ambitions, like starting a blog at thirty. While difficult, the amount of love you feel for your partner will help you to proportionally commiserate.
- Be appreciative of the imperfections. Real love isn’t blind and doesn’t give way to every whim of the heart. You can’t help but notice the way she can’t carry a tune but will always sing loudly in the car, or the way he insists on driving in circles rather than stopping for directions. We can’t expect that our love will help us overlook such obvious annoyances. That said, real love also isn’t overly critical and mean. So while your partner’s imperfections can become aggravating, the fact is they are the sum to a whole, they make the complete person. So, if you find yourself focusing on these little nuances with a sour face, try to think of how empty of self your partner would be without them.
- Be polite. It seems superfluous to have to say, but when we become comfortable over time, we may find ourselves tempted to forgo general rules of etiquette. If your plate is served first, do you wait for your date’s before you begin to eat? If your partner does something as simple as hanging the frame you’ve been nagging about, do you say thank you? Do you text during dinner? Sometimes, we feel so at home in the arms of our partner, we may not realize we are being rude. But following general rules of etiquette will show them to respect they deserve.
- Be loyal. This is another one that seems obvious because most of us would never think to be physically disloyal. We may, however, not notice smaller emotional disloyalties. Do you lurk for inappropriate images online? Do you go crazy at the mall and then hide the evidence in the trunk or hide receipts? It may seem small but sometimes winning a battle isn’t winning a war. You may feel tempted to tell half-truths and hide uncomfortable habits for fear of hurting your partner. The fact is that concealing things takes more effort than it would to simply let go of a bad habit. So, look at every opportunity to tell the truth, be honest, and forthcoming, as an opportunity to show your love.
As women, we are sold this idea that we should wait on elaborate proposals, prom requests, and surprises. Those are nice. But there is something to be said for quality over quantity. The commercial system that surrounds us would have you believe that you should perform some grand gesture on a certain day to win the affections of your loved one. When, in fact, the feeling that results from those moments are fleeting. To make love last, you must work at it every day. It might be more difficult and uncomfortable than any fairy tale ever taught you, but it will also be worth all the while.
What are some simple ways you show love every day?